MATCH REPORT

EASTWOOD CHARCOALS -V- ALL THE PRESIDENT’S MAN

FRIDAY, 19^TH MARCH, 2010.

What a cracker of a night. On a balmy Autumn night, there was a magnificent role up of some 25 Charcoals including new players, Pieter, Peter (Magic’s mate) “Boots” Ball, Henri and Wingman, John, who presented themselves for what is traditionally, the opening game of the Charcoals playing calendar. The Charcoals players waited patiently for an opposition which failed to materialise, except for the ever reliable Monster. Although disappointing, nothing was going to spoil a great evening. The Charcoals had enough players to field two sides and fill the void left by those President’s 15 players MIA!!

Great to see Shonky “I was Burt Lancaster’s Love Child” Fonti raising a sweat on the sideline and back to his old normal self, barking profanities at all a sundry on the paddock. Thanks also to “Noddy” Pont for his invaluable assistance both during and after the game in the dressing sheds.

Conspicuous by their absences were Magic (aka Bam, the Assassin) Johnson, said to be participating in a Men’s Free Spirit and Bonding Weekend at Ms. Faith Bloom’s Bush Healing & Relaxation Retreat, Mangrove Mountain (organised by Mrs.Magic!), “Thunder” Heki, Paris “sign-on sheet” Raymont, Maxy “Snow Possum” Goiser and “Muddy” O’ Shea. Hopefully all will present themselves for the 3-way contest against Wahroonga and Dundas Valley on 26/3/2010 at T G Milner including a welcome return by “Noddy” Pont. It is rumoured that Shonky will make a guest appearance at the Gala Day (sans bleached hair and waxed legs!!)

Even though we were playing our own kin, it was obvious from the first kick-off by our own resident potato, Mustard Keane, this was going to be a somewhat torrid affair. Perhaps there were some old scores to settle, pay-back time for past bar-room misdemeanours or stolen sweethearts back in the 70’s (C’mon Rabbs, get back on track!) There were all the typical hallmarks of a ball-tearing contest. The bump & grind, pick & drive and dropped ball of the forwards. Ably led by Gunna, Marty, Bruce, Greedy, Dave, Dome, Wyatt, Pom, Francois, Chucky, Peter, Peiter and the probing busts up the middle by Monster.

The backs as always, were absolutely magnificent in attack and defence. From the brilliant service provided from the base of the scrums and rucks by the halves, Morgs and the writer, the outside backs Conor, Mustard, “Boots”, Starry, Tiny, Bobby, Wingman John, Rob, Henri and Gerry were all able to demonstrate a raft of rugby skills to the assembled family members and Charcoalettes on the Club verandah, including free-flowing ball, bell-ringing tackles, jinking runs, cut out passes and run-arounds which appeared to completely bamboozle and confuse the forwards.

Intentionally or otherwise, Greedy “your secret is safe with me” Smith laid bare any planned moves by Mustard’s team, to the opposition half back, with obscure hand signals and inaudible instructions to his unsuspecting half back, Rabbs. This resulted in Rabbs copping a couple of big hits from Morgs and opposition forwards. Nice one Greedy, next week I’ll bring semaphore flags so you can announce the next planned move to the opposition team without opening your mouth!!

Six superb tries were scored in total by Rob Gillespie, new Wingman John, Starry, Mustard, Conor and Gerry. Thankfully, not one drop of claret was spilt by our resident bleeder, Wyatt Hearps!!

There is some conjecture however, as to how Pom blew a fetlock during the game which forced him from the field with bag of ice on the said injured limb There is one school of thought which says he was chased by Dome and another that there was just a change of wind!!

Eventually darkness took over and, despite the best efforts of Club staff, the floods lights above the grandstand failed to operate. Referee Paul Campbell quite rightly so, called the game off due to OH&S concerns. No complaints from Marty though, as it gave him more drinking time. I trust this problem will be fixed before the next night game on 26/3/2010. A big thank you to Paul for a great refereeing performance.

A great team hit-up for our first game and some promising performances, particularly by our new players. All bodes well for the 2010 season.

The following awards were presented after the game:

Best forward – Monster
Worst Back – Wingman John, the first try scorer
Bit hit – Henri (although I suspect Tiny just ran over the top of him!)
Dummy Spit – Greedy (“Hear hear” they cried), after being caught off-side by the Ref. on a number of occasions.

Thank you to all our supporters including families, Charcoalettes, Eastwood Rugby Club staff, injured players who lent a hand on the night and particularly, Monster who represented the President’s 15.

See you all again at T G Milner at 6:00 pm on Friday, 26^th March, 2010.

Rabbs
Honorary Scribe
23 March, 2010