Port Macquarie “Vintage Ports”
Seaside Classic 2012
5th March 2012
UNBIASED, LOOSE MATCH REPORT
The weekend of the 2/3/4 March saw the continuation of the Charcoals Traditional opening games at the seaside Classic Golden Oldies Festival, although it rained on the day it was perfect weather for Rugby. What a great effort from the Club, Danny Crisp one of our northern migratory Woodies organized a great day everything in order and a great Boat cruise.
The members who turned up for the Obligatory Pie and Beer training session did us proud, Magic did not get red carded and Tiny cleaned out all the scrums around the Ridgee Didge Pie Shop. Cecil, our other migratory Bird also managed to run with us and against us, all in the one game, or was it two.
The Squad of touring greats, has-beens and never was’s included Dome, Pom, Tiny, Cliffy, Magic, Roy the Boy, Slabs, Wazza, Wyatt, Starry, Tripods, Gunna, Half’ A Page, Maxxi, Paris, Hoges, Greedy, Morgs and a late arrival by Steam Train
Lord “bottletops” Dunn. Magic also had his Grandson play for us from Devon England (not as Marty suggested from Luigie’s deli in Leichardt) how good will he be when his 64!!!
Our Charcoalettes may have been down in number but still more vocal than other ladies in support of their heroes, also consuming most of the wines on offer. Thanks to Bernie, Dianne, Kerry and Robyn,& Julie with a steadying hand from the partner of our illustrious leader Thanks Ladies.
The First Game…
Well we kept our record intact and did not score a try in the first Game, but then, neither did they. A monumental tussle in mostly the centre of the Pitch, highlighted by Magic refusing to pass to Starry with the line wide open. Some tremendous Super 15 defense by all for a full 6 minutes with them hammering our line was repulsed by some committed defense. And some other big hits from the usual suspects. A Draw!!
The Second Game…
Well it was spoilt by a set of draconian local Laws and a XXXX of a referee, we scored 2 tries and won the battle of attrition, Tiny was penalized for a great hit, and the referee said it was a good tackle but Tiny should not have smiled as he went in to Make it, a real PIE Shaker.
Then we were subjected to all sorts of abuse when our winger tyro Maxxi took it on himself to save a certain Try with a ball in all Tackle, however, the Pirate player carried the ball on his head, a tad high, “Bloody Mungoes” was the general call from all including his best mates but it worked Starry, Magic and Cliffy stepped up with a few good hits.
All in all the standard of play from the Charcoals was terrific considering it was a first outing, luckily no injuries were sustained, although Brian Read was sent off, our first since San Diego in 2005, only the fifth in our history, however, Brian did not upset the Japanese as the other player did, but offered to fight each one of the Pirates backs individually as he slowly made his way off the paddock. Tries well a magnificent 5 yard dash by Maxxi to take the lead in the try scoring for this year, he claimed the next as the Devon Wizard scored a great one.
Gunna says if the player is wearing his Jersey then the try his, no truth in the rumour he wants to fit out all the team in his gear to defeat the 2 Little, fast, fat and solid Barrel’s that have dominated it for years.
Ardent admirers and Tiny wanted to give her a Birthday Pie gave birthday Girl Robyn a beautiful collection of Chinese Poo Dynasty Ceramic Frogs, but he ate it. Lord Jim wants some more volunteers for the Steam trip next year and wants to know what time does the 56 Class Steamer leave for Hawaii, He needs it for his brick heavy Kit Bag, courtesy of Guess Who A wonderful weekend was had by all, one that you should not miss next year, see you all at the Saint Patrick’s Festival Friday week, if your late, you are a trainee water boy, lastly not to forget a great thanks to Muddy and Romeo fro the legwork as water suppliers supreme.
March 4-6, 2011
Well the mighty Charcoals have negotiated yet another brilliant trip to “sunny” J Port Macquarie to participate in the annual “Seaside Classic” organized by one of our own – the one and only Danny “Crispy” Crisp.
The call to arms went our some weeks ago and, as is becoming the norm, the Starr-meister received plenty of positive responses. We were able to field a full team in our own right which is a tremendous achievement considering the distance travelled.
Friday, March 4 and the Charcoals are on the move – planes, trains and automobiles were all put to good use to get to our Rendezvous at the Ki-Ea Apartments in Port Macquarie (well planes & automobiles at least). Some of the more adventurous amongst us decided to opt for alternate lodgings but the main thing was that the Charcoals were in town!!!
As is becoming custom Marty, Brucey & Magic “BAM” Johnson got off to an early start and what better place to imbibe a few early ales than the Big aka “Blue” Oyster Bar on the eve of the Mardi Gras J How were the “Oysters” lads???
Bernie Kulper was doing her usual “ask the Leyland Muthers” trip across from Armidale and was on-hand to pick up the “Dome” at Port Macquarie airport. Various attempts to lure Bern & Dome by the above-mentioned threesome to the Blue Oyster was thwarted as the Dome knew from experience how long a night awaited us all………..
Jules & the Pom were in the UK Buzz-box and in convoy with Ed and his delightful wife Michelle Lobo. Ed tried to keep a low profile but could not escape the bad publicity of being associated in long & close proximity to the “Pomster”. Bob & Maxxi were not far behind. Jimmy “tops” Dunn, Rabbs “where is my usual table” Chaney, Jarvo and potential new Charcoal Danny, the Brothers Grimm (Raymont) and the comeback king – Craig “turn the page” Pagey were all in various stages of transit along with Starry and killer Con Grigoriadis. Roy the Boy was also lurking. Di & Hoges were also in town but kept a low profile until the business-end of proceedings on Saturday morning.
After renewing acquaintances at Ki-Ea the Charcoals collective met up at the Macquarie Hotel for a beer or two and a bite or one. As usual we outlasted the other patrons and were punted by the friendly staff upon closing time. The focused one(s) amongst us retired back to our abodes to review tomorrow’s game plan but I have on good advice that some of our diehards “kicked-on” at a local night-club and learned all sorts of new dance moves. Can anyone make head nor tail of…… “The sprinkler”??
Saturday, March 5 and we dusted ourselves off from the night before and looked out to graying skies and squalls of rain – a typical English Summer the Pom was heard to say with his usual pride!
Off we went in convoy and met-up at our usual venue – the Port Macquarie Pirates Rugby Club. The wet weather did not dampen our enthusiasm – indeed it woke up quite a few of us! We were down for the second game and ended-up backing up for the third round as well. Not a bad idea when you consider the conditions and the “stiffening” that could have occurred………
We had a good hit-out first up but the conditions coupled with the local laws of the land combined to stifle our usual attacking flair. The Charcoals did us proud on the day and Maxxi & Marty were delighted at being equal leading try-scorers on the opening day of our season L (HINT – so is everyone else in the team). It was great to meet-up with Bryant “Cec” Feltham – one of our stalwarts and a Charcoals Lifer. Although a dual-acceptor for both Coffs Harbor and the Charcoals Cecil was welcomed with open arms (no not swinging ones) J
The presentations were brief and well received by those who attended on the day. There is genuine appreciation for the effort made by the Charcoals to get to this venue which does us proud – well done team!!!
This year we were treated to a different venue for the evening function. 23 sturdy Charcoals and supporters enjoyed a fun night out on the Hastings River via a planned river cruise. A great night was had by all and the catering was well received.
Many of us were feeling the pinch by the end of the cruise and opted to do a “snagglepuss” and exited – stage left. Others kicked on for a few more beers and made their way back to their abodes at some stage of the evening.
Sunday, March 6 greeted us with fairer weather and we bid each other farewell for the trip back to Sydney. All-in-all a successful trip with no obvious injuries to report.
We now look forward to the local season opener and the traditional St Patrick’s day game at T.G. Millner on Friday, March 18. We look forward to seeing everyone there for a run and/or a few beers.
Cheers for now.
Presidents XV 2009
“Rugby is a good occasion for keeping thirty bullies far from the centre of the city” - Oscar Wilde.
As the Charcoals were led on to the pitch by Gunna Hay on the occasion of his 200th game to a tear jerking rendition of “Danny Boy” by failed Sydney club circuit entertainer Seamus Fitzmichael, an exhibition of precision marching by the Gulargambone Irish tin whistle and drum ensemble and a spirited performance of Irish dancing by Erin O’ Flaherty’s armless Irish Dance Troupe (Est. 1922), the enthusiastic band of loyal Charcoals supporters on the club balcony and surrounds could sense we were in for a torrid evening against “Monster’s” boys.
The traditional St. Pat’s Day derby against the President’s 15 started at a cracking pace with the forwards ably led by Magic, Greedy, Marty, Dome, Hearpsy, Noddy, Lord Jim, Tiny, Bobby, Gunna, Peter et al who were inspirational in sticking it up the opposition players with their great pick and drives. It was great to see Bobby Raymond back on the pitch with that embarrassing “Wirral incident” finally erased from his memory.
The forwards held their own against a fairly competitive opposition pack which appeared to tire a little towards the end of play. Unfortunately Noddy retired hurt with a more serious injury than first thought. Speedy recovery mate, our thoughts are with you and we hope to see both you and Glenda back at the rugby soon.
At Scrum Half, Morgs was brilliant in marshalling his troops behind the ebb and flow of play and despite a couple of “falcons” and dropped passes, was able to extract some champagne rugby from his outside troops. Conor, the thinking man’s rugby player, exhibited coolness under pressure with his probing runs and switching of play. Mustard Keane, our own adopted Paddy and closet hurling tragic, showed silky hands under extreme pressure to put “3 Star General” through limited gaps despite difficulties on occasions, understanding the Irish brogue. Starry held the line and showed great patience biding his time for a rewarding opportunity which would present itself later in the game. Maxy as always, was like the Rock of Gibraltar out on the Wing. A man of few words, a quiet achiever, he just went about his business in a professional manner. And last but not least, our esteemed Club Captain at fullback with his stampeding forays into opposition territory, completely confusing everyone at the last moment when he suddenly decided to straighten his run. His defence however, cannot be faulted (excludes Pt. Macquarie Mack Trucks!).
Finally after some good lead up play by the forwards, Dome “I now know the words to YMCA” Read was put through a gap to score a magnificent try. Interviewed after the game, Dome attributed his try-scoring ability to copies of Gareth Edwards’ “How to play Rugby” coaching clinic 35 mm films (circa. 1965) obtained from the North Rocks Public Library and a whisper in his ear from the Pom before the game.
Then the “3 Star General” picked his time perfectly. After a number of successful rucks by the forwards (and backs) near the opposition line, the ball was taken up by the rampaging frame of the Albury Torpedo who scored under the posts carrying about five opposition players with him.
At the end of the game, the superior rugby skills and fitness of the opposition ensured a well deserved win to the President’s 15. The Charcoals however, despite their age(s), showed a lot of heart, grit and determination commensurate with rugby sides which would do the Sydney Sub-District competition proud. As they say, rugby was the winner on the night.
A resounding rendition of the Eastwood Rugby Club Song was led by “Monster” in the dressing sheds after the game and rumour has it that a certain player was seen blow drying his hair (No, Paris didn’t play on Friday night!)
The quality of the refereeing by Hoges was, as always, first class, ensuring free-flowing rugby with fair decisions and minimal disruptions.
At the after-game formalities, Club President, Tiny Harrison thanked “Monster” and the President’s 15 players for a great game of rugby to open the Charcoals 2009 playing calendar. The perpetual St. Patrick’s Day Trophy was presented to Tiny by “Monster” and a Charcoals cap and stubby cooler were presented to “Monster” by Club Captain, Pom “the Black” Begg. Pom also presented the best forward award at the Edinburgh Festival to “Lord Jim” Dunn and the worst back award to Maxy Goiser.
It was good to see a very spritely Bobby Little amongst the supporters at the club following his recent hip operations. A long and illustrious rugby career has regrettably come to an end. Thanks to Sue and Bobby for the wonderful support they’ve given the Charcoals over the years. Hope to see them both at our future games and social functions.
Thanks to all our families and friends who supported the Charcoals on Friday night and especially to the three gentlemen (I use that term loosely!) who kidnapped the writer and then managed to have said writer evicted from a popular watering hole only about five minutes after entering the premises. That must be a record! (Guilt by association?). No harm done. Everyone got home safely.
See you all on the pitch and remember, the Irish ignore anything they can’t drink or punch!
Yours in rugby,
Steve “Rabbs” Chaney
Apprentice Scribe, Comedy Relief & Vice President, Eastwood Charcoals
16 March, 2009
Vintage Ports Gala Day 2009
That Port Macquarie sortie.
Once again the mighty Charcoals ventured forth into the Mid North Coast on a quest to
win back the Anniversary Cup held by those Pirates since inflicting a defeat on us during
their weekend festival in the sun in March 2008.
It was a warm and muggy day that greeted those Charcoals that survived the Friday Nite arrival festivities led by Mustard, Slabbs and Lord Jim, who provided an Olympic Gold full 3 turn tumble out of the establishment without spilling his Guinness.
Those Pirates know how to provide a great game but were no match for the SBG Dome who was out to regain his try scoring edge so brilliantly taken from him one week before by Pom the Black, he crossed for 2 try’s whilst Pom scored again, looks like it is going to be full on between these two all season..
The return of our pack big guns Tiny, Slabs, Muddy and Greedy certainly bolstered the remaining forwards, Gunna, Lord Jim and Alfresco to produce a sterling up the middle no nonsense get out of my way platform for those decrepit objects called backs !!!
But wait... That’s only 7 forwards... Well we had a dynamo on the side of the scrums, rucks and malls who took the ball up and made more ground than Maxi (away from the bar when its his shout) Yes the Rabbit appeared from his burrow and played an unbelievable couple of games, well done Steve.
Those backs, well, we would have scored a couple more if Pom the Black and SBG Dome looked either right or left to their supporting
players, but then, Dome does not know how to pass and he is so bloody fast when he gets White Line Fever its hopeless, and Pom forever runs like a chicken with its head cut orf shouting follow me forwards ...like, we can catch him???
We enjoyed the presence of living legend (according to Jumfa) Cecil the magnificent who along with Alfesco Forno stuffed up the centre of The Pirates attack at all times, and even made a few runs with the ball.
The Leading Golden Oldies Referees in the world Hoges (who also played exceptionally well) and Paul were applauded for their efforts however, Hoges was heard critising Paul on the field which stunned our resident Referee basher Gunna , the other players who filled in the enormous gaps left in our backline as those two chased glory Starry, Maxxi and Mustard who scored a bottler of a try beating 4 players with a magical lightning fast sidestep and sprint to the line way out wide with Slabs and Gunna !!! in support he crashed over with 2 players hanging off him, he will tell you about it at least ten times even if you don’t ask..
In closing, let me not forget that bloody human Dynamo and crash tackling, sleight of hand no. 9 of ours, “Morgs” again, in both games he led the defence and organised our attack, considering his own burden it was a wonderful contribution to our Charcoals performance.
We were graced with beauty as Charcoalettes turned out in force to support us and thanks to all the girls for making it a great break, who was heard asking Lee our 93 year old groupy to wear a thong and short dress to the Dinner given by the Pirates.. This was well organised and provided great value and a top meal.
There is no doubt that this event has become the stuff of legends, so put your pennies away and mark down the First Saturday in March 2010 as a weekend not to be missed, as we won the Cup and left them with a Block of Charcoal to reserve a place in their Trophy Cabinet for its return next year so we must attend in force.
Yours in fun, friendship, fraternity, and frivolity,
Dundas & Wahroonga 2009
That twas a day to treasure !!!!
“The VIKINGS Gala Day “
Cox Road Oval was the venue for a memorable event, the autumn sun shone over the lush green of the pitch now the home ground of the Dundas Valley Vikings and the setting for a splendiferous round robin festival of Golden Oldies Rugby.
Those Mighty Charcoalettes led the day’s activities in a semi circle of elegance, providing, Sophistication, Support, Sage advice and Sanguine optimism, whilst consuming an endless quantity of quality wine (Not Begg’s cardboard vintage). Our lovely Ladies, Bernie, Narelle, Robyn the young, Flo, Pommette, Jenny, Wendy, Dale, Brenda, Maz and Kathy, the shining other half of Starry, surrounded by kids and other hangers-on of serious disrepute, the Morrow Crew, Gunna and a Liverpudlian future Charcoal. The Charcoals ubiquitous Caravan was the envy of all the other teams at the event, we even had a visit from the Chairman of ARGO, Silver Fox and Joan
On to the main event, the Games. Those Magnificent men, those “Burnt out Woods” proceeded to strut their stuff and wasn’t it GOOD, GOOD, GOOD. We played the Engadine Flatulents, The Dundas Vikings and the Wahroonga Tigers.
The skilful and wonderful pack of forwards led up front by Lord of the Barren “DOME” (banished to the Pigs by Begg’sy to ensure no more tries), Muddy, Greedy, Big Pete, Wyatt, Froggy, Rabbs and Hollywood masquerading as a hooker!! Yes that’s right. These marvellous men rampaged and provided our delinquent backs with enough possession to drop their usual amount of ball and still come up with length of the field tries, courtesy of Maxy (Man of the Match) Goiser. It was worth the Quid it cost to see his Bengy Marshall flick that set up a spectacular try. Well done by the quite achiever. The other backline support by Mustard, Starry, Tiny, Thunder, Junior, Dougie and company was equal to Subbies 1st Grade, their defence was superb, specially the 3 hits on Sheb from the Flatulents, by Tiny (front on), Starry (crash tackle) and Mustard (round the bootlaces). All of this backed up by a mad fullback charging onto the ball, or the ball carrier screaming “follow me forwards” me thinks he’s called “The Pom.”
Tries were scored by Junior (3) Thunder (2) and I forgot who scored the other 12 as I was enjoying the Charcoalettes fantastic cheese plate and wine, but give yourselves a pat on the back boys.
We had a couple of injury scares but Starry’s ankle is badly sprained not broken, the Rabbits Foot has been extracted from the trap re arched and is for sale, Dome is whinging but not enough to oust our Skipper Tiny the Magnificent who won the English Whingers award for the day. Well done, Pakeha, so it all ended well.
This day will I hope set the scene for all of our matches this season, not to mention the wonderful time had by all who continued on to “EastWoo“ and the Peking Duck restaurant for a hilarious finale to a great day.
Yours in Rugby The Ember
Gordon & Dundas 2009
Once again our ménage a trois with Gay Gordon and the Dundas Vikings 2 weeks ago on the top oval at home was a huge success. We have been promised that a match report and barbeque report will be forthcoming. I’m looking forward to the pictures…….of the barbeque.Junior ran like the wind, obviously not wanting to be caught by any of his own players and was ably supported by Doug and Maxi on the wings and Squadron Leader Pom “The Black” Begg bringing up the rear. We had a welcome return from Magic in the backs having not quite recovered from his rolled ankle but a 75% Magic is still a formidable site to any opposition. MustaaaArd, now known as The Scarlet Pimpernel, as he ran hither and thither and was everywhere, other than where he was supposed to be, except when he scored a magnificent try, was heard reciting, with apologies to P.D.Q. Blakeney:
"They seek him here, they seek him there
Those Gay Gordons seek him everywhere!
Is he in heaven? Or is he in hell?
That dammed Elusive MustaaaArd the Pimpernel?"
The duo from the coast, Paris and Dazza graced us with their presence and played exceptionally well. Paris dropped his first pass, nothing unusual about that, but caught every other pass thrown anywhere near him. The spectacle of Shonkie, wrapped in cotton wool and carried on Lorraine’s back chasing Phil around the oval was enough incentive for Paris to catch the pill. Dazza performed exceptionally well.
The secret to extracting those extra yards in attack and rock wall defence is to invite Dazza’s girlfriend to watch him “do his thang”! Junior and Hollywood both made impressive incisive runs and backed up with great defence. Marty, Greedy and Francois played their usual tough no nonsense straight up the middle games and were ably supported by Muddy and Gunna who also had strong games.
The piggies as a pack were impenetrable in defence and like a multi weave jock strap supported each other in attack. Dome, revelling in his roving commission on the flank, scored yet again. In a concerned voice Pom was heard to say that if Dome maintains this average he could conceivably catch up to Pom before the seasons end.
Morg’s played above his weight yet again and gave great service to his backs.Unfortunately, his backs weren’t up to the high standard of service they received. (I’d said too many nice things about the backs already)! After the three teams had played each other we played a sort of bar-bars game with most of the Charcoals filling in for either Gordon or the Vikings.
It was at the conclusion of this game that Greedy’s eye was opened up like a split melon, in what was apparently an accidental vicious attack from one of his own players. Greedy was looking for the number of the Mack truck that hit him when Hoges blew full time, preventing Greedy from wreaking unnecessary and potentially very painful revenge. Lucky bloke! Hoges refereed all the main games and then had a run in the bar-bars game for the Vikings. Hoges proved that he has not lost any of his skills when he showed how it’s supposed to be done as he ducked and weaved his way through the brittle defence (me).
With Sydney 2010 looming Hoges is refereeing to the new ELV’s but it was the old Hoges who penalised one of the Gay Gordons for “zigging when he should have zagged”!Once again we had a fantastic attendance by our beautiful Charcoalettes who were heard on several occasions to whoop and cheer. Unfortunately, we were mistaken in thinking that they were whooping and cheering to inspire their husbands and partners to greater heights on the pitch. We soon learnt that it was because Starry had bought them a further 6 bottles of Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc!!As players we really need to have a membership drive because the ranks of the Charcoalettes are increasing at a greater rate than the Charcoals.
It is conceivable that in the near future there could be more Charcoalettes than Charcoals at the games, even without their new recruits of Starry, looking smashing in his hot pink nail polish, Shonkie (Marshal Dillon), Noddy and Rabbs. It was great to see Noddy and Glenda, Starry and Cathy, Shonkie and Lorraine, Paul and Jayne Campbell, Allen and Joan Forno and Rabbs all at the game supporting the Rugby and drinking.
Other participants in the fun, friendship, frivolity and p%ss taking of the Charcoalettes were Flo (Carol) O’Shea, Di Hogan, Bernie, Joan, Jayne, Margaret, Narelle, Sarnie, Cathy, Glenda, Lorraine, Jayne, Joan, Robyn and Lucy Raymont who took the opportunity to sum up the rippling abbs and protruding lats that she will be pulverising on our Gala Day.
When the dust settled and the Charcoalettes quietened down it was time for the bar-b-que and presentation.I’m not going to say anything about Candy and the after match bar-b-que other than to say that as usual Tiny did a great job. Further details and photos should
be forthcoming in Morg’s Match Report?
Following excellent speeches by Tiny and Pom our “Worst and Dirtiest” back went to Dome who wore his medallion with pride. Slabbs was voted the best forward and once again he slayed ‘em in the boat race. Setting a precedent for our newly established custom of the presentation of the Pommy Whingers Award, as Junior was nowhere to be seem (we suspect that his departure was the dust that needed to settle before the presentation) it was capably won for a second time by non other than Pom!
The rabble packed up, cleaned up and proceeded to an after match bar-b-que at Connor’s house in Cheltenham. Yet another great evening was had at Connor’s and if you want to catch up on all the goss from this event you’ll have to join the
Charcoalettes at this Sunday’s games at Hawkesbury.If it sounds like everyone who is attending these matches is having a great time, your’e right. Don’t be left out, get along and join the fun with the Charcoals and Charcoalettes at our next game at Hawkesbury
St Patricks Day game 2009
Oakhill Withered Oaks v The Mighty Charcoals
Everything was in place for a good day of rugby, the sun was shining, a light zephyr was blowing across TG Millner field (that’s a light breeze, not a pale coloured old car, Tiny!). The Charcoalettes had taken up position on the veranda of the clubhouse at T G Millner Field. Starry joined them, hobbling in on crutches, muttering something about breaking a fingernail the week before against Dundas.
Meanwhile, in the sheds, where the real men were, Muddie O’Shea awarded Greedy Smith the Fluffy Coat Hanger award for having the best laundered strip including an ironed Rugby Jumper on a hanger and knife sharp creases down the front of his shorts, well done Edwina.
After the customary on field salutations and law laying down by Hoges. The ball was lofted and the game commenced. That was when we realised we had a game on our hands. We struggled to get our hands on the ball and when we did, we had it taken off of us; well some of us did anyway! It was a case of two steps forward four steps back. Marc and his band of sneaky ball pilferers gave it to us from pillar to post.
At the first scrum Warwick, Oakhill’s learned (read underhanded) second rower proceeded to rub a handful of the glorious TG Millner turf into your truely’s boat race! Then it was on for young and old! (psychological warfare!)
The forwards, were driven around the paddock by Morgs, who played superbly, given the fact he was going backwards half the time. The pack was ablely lead by Greedy Smith with Gunna, Muddie, Big Pete, Lord Jimmy Dunn, The Domester, Wyatt Hearpsy grafting away, but it was hard yakka up front against Oakhills young and fit blokes. Our honorable President, Tiny Harrison featured strongly in the first half, but had to retire prematurely (and I use that word very carefully) to fire up the BBQ.
At oranges, Hollywood took on the coaching mantle and proceeded to give the boys a few home truths about the basics of footy, most of which hit a nerve and had the desired effect, as we played with a bit more urgency in the second stanza.
Junior had been playing well at “Wide Inside Centre”, but was a little concerned about something at halftime and mentioned something about having to mow his lawns and wanting to wear a hat with bells on it and the St Georges cross and promptly left, go figure!
The backs ramped things up a bit and when they got a little bit more ball with Cliffy Thunder scoring a nice try and Maxy Goiser tackling like a man possessed and Dazza Mathison chiming in with a few well timed runs. Mustard Keane cut a swathe through the middle several times only to be short changed by Oakhills cover defense. Pom was his scintillating best with crys of “With me Forwards” but was being out paced by younger and fitter blokes who would snaffle the ball before our small numbered shirts arrived.
Fortunately I had an opportunity to repay Warwick from Oakhill in the second half when his head poked out of a ruck and I proceeded to transplant bits of the hallowed turf into his nose, ears and mouth, (Revenge is best served cold!)
Paris Raymont was caught out talking to the subs on the sideline about a book he was reading, something about Robert the Bruce, when the opposition winger sprinted past; not to mention the ball that landed on his chest and he still managed to let it slip through his fingers. Glenn Fonti’s prophetic words obviously ringing in his ears “don’t pass it to Paris”. Harsh words, but fair!
All in all it was a hard day at the office for most of us, but the beer still tasted the same. Starry received the whingers award for complaining about the limited selection of fingernail polish available on the veranda and was last seen with Kathy driving him off into the sunset with the bells peeling out and cry’s of “Bring out your dead” ringing in the air.
Slabbs (better late than never) Rodgers
Eastwood Gala Day 2009
What a day. What a fabulous day.
The planning and execution of the day was exemplary.
From early morning we had a good roll up of Charcoals and Charcoalettes to help with the logistics of setting up the bar-b-que and tea, latte and cake stand, Domes treasure house/work station, the wonderful Chiropractors from Macquarie Uni and the St Johnsambulance men and women.
All of the Charcoals and Charcoalettes who brought their 2 bottles of wine and cakes and slices, admittedly my wine was water but I did have it blessed by Hoges and the baking done by the girls which was sensational.
Which leads me to the only disappointment in the entire day being that I didn’t get one of the pink fairy cakes. They literally went like hot cakes!
I am certain that nobody expects that a day with so many diverse logistical challenges just happens. The fact that the day was practically faultless is a testament to the incredible amount of planning, commitment, sacrifice of personal time, running around, organising and hard work, over the past months and weeks, by the many Charcoals and Charcoalettes who were involved in the organisation leading up to our Gala Day.
I should have learned my lesson in individually thanking our members who gave so much of their own time but our Commander In Chief, President Tiny Harrison has insisted that we thank everyone individually. I am sure that if I fail this test I will be forced to drink two bottles of my own wine, if I get it right, I will only have to drink one bottle.
On behalf of our Supreme Commander, President Tiny Harrison and his servile and very humble 2009 Charcoals Committee we extend our unreserved thanks and appreciation to all those Charcoals and Charcoalettes who gave so much of their time in the planning, organising and execution of our extremely successful 2009 Gala Day.
Noddy and Glenda Pont who planned, ordered, collected, organised and worked in the bar-b-que all day. This is the 2nd year in three that Noddy has worked tirelessly in the BBQ all day. Glenda also backed up on the tea, latte and cake stall. Shonkie and Lorraine who worked tirelessly in the BBQ and also collected and delivered BBQ requisites. Shonkie who selflessly posed for photographs and signed autographs as the “Living (and Hobbling) Legend” until he no longer had any lead left in his pencil!
Glen “Cuttsie” Cutts, Charcoalette Jocelyn and their Charcoal-imp Erin (sorry Erin) who also worked tirelessly in the BBQ all day. Dazza and Quiet Cheryl also worked their fingers to the bone in the BBQ. Maxxie Goiser, when he wasn’t on the field, did a superb job cooking sausages and steaks as a relief chef in the BBQ area. Must have been something about playing with
all that raw meat that saw Maxxie pull off one of the best tackles and biggest hits of the season. Kerry Raymont was spotted behind the BBQ counter and at any time during the day there seemed to be a willing cast of thousands working like navvies in what ought to become known as “Noddy’s Harem”. I’m not sure what that says about Shonkie, Cuttsie and Maxxie? Bernie who tirelessly but very ably assisted Dome in his Chancellor of the Exchequer
duties, running raffles, general organising, selling tickets and helping in the cake stall in her spare time. Narelle and Maxxie for the planning, purchasing, organising and preparation of the kids lolly bags. Narelle said that the hardest part of the job was getting Maxxie to whistle while he filled the bags with the lollies. Narelle also worked ceaselessly on the tea and cake stall and gear sales.
Julie for her unstinting all day shift in the tea stall and general organising throughout the day. Behind the scenes she also uncomplainingly welcomed the committee into her house for one of the many Gala Day committee meetings and fed and slaked their thirst, on the proviso that I left when she called “last drinks”! Princess President Dale for all of her help in the tea stall and gear sales and general all round help on the day. Edwina enlisted the help of their Charcoal-imps and together they sold a staggering amount of raffle tickets in the meat trays as well as helping out in the tea and cake stall.
Jayne and Dianne were both tireless and unstinting with their help in the tea and cake and gear sales stall. Margaret, Joan and Sarnie also relieved in the tea and cake and gear sales stall. Jenny and Kathy were also present and provided plenty of moral support to all.
Having so many excellent players side-lined throughout the season worked to our advantage on the day with a quality team of directors and overseers supervising and carrying out the myriad of functions that needed to be completed to make our day a success.
Again, I didn’t want to single out any individuals because it was the efforts and support of everyone both leading up to the day and on the day that made it such a success. However, I apologise in advance to all those other willing helpers that we appreciate and who were indispensible on the day but who I will not name individually, although I must single out the fantastic all day efforts of Paris Hilton on the PA. His professionalism, humour and firmness, when required to get teams where they needed to be, was outstanding. I would like to submit to the match committee that Paris be credited with 2 games for his exceptional efforts.
Of course, the other organisers on the day, Starry who worked out the draw and ably assisted by Vice President Rabbit together kept the whole day on track and on schedule. Big Pete also contributed by helping out wherever and whenever required.
It was great to see Cecil and Jumpha who travelled down from Coffs Harbour especially for the day. The bionic man, Bobby Little and Sue called in to catch up with old friends and watch the champagne Rugby on offer.
On the field we really played well and scored some outstanding tries. Noddy complained to Douglas Macarthur that never before had the fabric of his loaned jersey been subjected to the stresses of laminar air flow at the speeds that Doug had been running.
All of our players from our Captain “Pom” down played really well. Slaabs, Francois, Lord Jim, Cecil, Gunna, Magic, Dome, Greedy and Wyatt were all rock solid in the engine room. Our backs revelled with the quality ball being distributed from Morgs to Connor and on to Dougie, Bonk, MustaaaArd, Romeo and Thunder with Maxxy and Doug seeing plenty of good ball out on the flanks. Maxxy pulled off a sensational “Big Hit” tackle which earned him the Gala Day “Big Hit” award.
Our second game was regrettably abandoned after a suspected neck injury to Wayne Herbert from the Black and Blue Old Fellas. Wayne was taken to hospital and thankfully has been cleared of any serious or permanent injury or damage. Unfortunately, in our third game, the final game for the day on the main oval the Engadine Flatulants turned the tide on us after a rousing speech to his players by Barry Kaye.
Although we acquitted ourselves well we were outgunned by a heavily motivated side. During the game Mustard’s brow was split open like a ripe tomato and near the end Captain Pom was buried so deep Magic had to extract him from the pitch with a “Christmas Hold”!
The referees, Hoges, Paul Campbell, Bob Watson and Bill worked tirelessly throughout the day and it can only be hoped that they derived as much enjoyment and pleasure from the day as the players had, despite their marathon stints. We all salute you and thank you for your great efforts.
At the after games presentation ceremony in the auditorium President Tiny made an excellent speech and handed over to Captain, Wing Commander Pom “The Black” Begg for the presentation of the excellent awards and trophies that had been crafted by Gunna.
Kolose from the Killara West Pymble Raiders won the Golden Boot award.Our very own Maxxie Goiser very deservedly won the big hit award. The Referees award was presented to Bill. The Guzzlers Cup was awarded to the KWP Raiders who must have refused to allow Pom to fill the Cup for fear of being blacked?
All and sundry agree that this was the most outstanding and best Gala Day in living memory. Not one minute of it could have been the success that it was without the complete involvement of all of the Charcoals and Charcoalettes who gave willingly and unstintingly of their time in the lead up to and on the day.
Again, on behalf of President Tiny and the Charcoals Committee we thank you for your outstanding efforts which were above and beyond any pre Gala Day expectations.
Of course, although they would insist that they don’t need thanks, “it’s all part of the job sir”, President Tiny, Vice President Rabbs, Treasurer Dome, Captain Pom, Starry, Greedy, Morgs and Wyatt are all thanked and congratulated for a magnificent job well done.
And our reward…………..the most financially successful Gala Day to date!!!!!
Congratulations and thanks one and all.
CHARCOALS 2009 SYDNEY CUP CHAMPIONS
MATCHDAY COMMENTS FROM A SIDELINE FAN
As the first sign of daybreak emerged over the rolling hillside surrounding the hamlet of Eastwood, thirteen hardy, heroic soles began the long arduous trek across no-mans land to the far away hamlet of Engadine, in the shire of Sutherland.
These were men of great courage and determination for they knew of the great challenge that lay ahead.
An earlier decision had been made to leave the womenfolk in the comfort of the village for this was no journey for the fainthearted.
They relentlessly pushed on across raging rivers, and wooded fields on through rain, sleet and wind until finally arriving at the little hamlet of Engadine. The grand Chancellor of Engadine Rugby Barry Kaye had assembled twelve of the finest teams of men in the land to contest the much sought after “Sydney Cup”.
Word had spread to the far reaches of the shire of the upcoming event for the towns folk appeared in great masses, crowding along the sidelines of the ground to get the best vantage point.
Meanwhile, “Pom the Black” the great leader of the much feared Charcoals was firing up his charges on the sideline, for they all knew their opponents from Oak Hill lay between them and the prize of the day the “Sydney Cup”.
Hostilities began with “Greedy” taking the first ball and charging like a man possessed with the pigskin firmly implanted under his right arm, bang. The forwards, Wayne, Greedy, Lord Jim, Marty, Tiny, Francoise, Brian and Dome made it be known we weren’t here for tea and scones.
Marty, with a heart as big as a pumpkin showed the way fearlessly crashing his way forward leading by example. Dome was once again thrown into the forwards (in an attempt to slow his try scoring ability) but he still managed to make a few scintillating breaks against very stiff opposition.
Morg’s (still playing above his weight) had a blinder around the scrum base, with some jinking runs and great ball out to the rampaging backs Thunder and Mustard (The scarlet pimpernel) fearlessly ran the ball all day, in a take no prisoners display.
By the half way mark neither side had yielded, the score locked up at nil all. Fortunately for the charcoals we had a couple of imports for the day from Warringah, Engadine and Oak Hill. One of the boys from Warringah managed to make a break down the wing and grab the only try of the match
Tiny put in his usual lion hearted display with some of the best hits of the day. Lord Jim and Francoise kept the pack moving forward.
But wait, there’s more, you thought I’d forgotten undoubtedly the man of the match and play of the day from “Pom the Black”. The ball was fed along the backline from the mercurial hands of morgs to Thunder, quick hands to the ‘scarlet pimpernel, he runs, jinks, steps, jinks again, looming up on his right the Pom takes the pass and dances Rudolf Nureyev like up the sideline. He run 20 meters, crashes through one tackle, then another, looses the ball in an attempted tackle and magically regains the ball before it touches the ground and bolts for the try line 30 meters away. Pom, rapidly running out of petrol unselfishly decides to pass to an inside support, but alas the ball goes down.
Barry Kaye was heard on the sideline praising Pom’s efforts saying it was a “Sydney Cup winning play”. You had to be there to see it.
Finally the hooter rang out across the pristine prepared turf (all four blades of it) signaling the end to hostilities with a 1 –nil victory.
Earlier in the day the Charcoals had to overcome challenges from the Waroongah Toothless Tigers which resulted in a nil all draw, The Gay Gordons a nil all draw and finally Dee Why/Collaroy for a 2 –nil victory. The charcoals had played four games without conceding one try. What an effort.
After the presentations someone enquired as to the whereabouts of the ‘Sydney Cup” and was informed it was previously dropped and smashed at last years presentation. However, someone noticed a sparkling new glass trophy engraved “Sydney Cup” on the officials table. One wonders at the current location of the said cup.
Charcoals Vs Warringah Wrinkled Rats 2009
16th of August 2009
The Gods looked down upon us when we traveled down to Rat Pack for the match of the season. 22 degrees, clear skies and a pristine pitch to ply our skills, what else could the Charcoals ask for.
17 souls prepared to lay it on the line – and Morg’s even arrived on time, Eastwood Charcoals were ready for some good rugby over sixty minutes.
And we did see some great rugby in the first stanza – probably unfortunate that it was the Rats that displayed those great skills. The Charcoals showed dominant forward play led by Marty, Wyatt and François. But turn over ball cost the charcoals deeply and the Rats scrum and quick hands out thru the backs saw the first of four tries run in by the Rats fullback Charlie.
Restart saw a spilt ball to the Rats, again quick hands led to another easy try and another and another but the Charcoals did regroup and again went to the strength of the forwards and thru rolling mauls and great one off runs by Greedy, Thunder and Mustard, we surged forward towards the Rats tryline – unknown territory for the charcoals but Dave Eastwood drove over for the first of the day for the charcoals.
After an inspiring speech by “Pom the Black”, the Charcoals discovered the ball and finally started to put two and two together, Strong play by Rob Gillespie, Barrie Kennedy, Lord Jim in the forwards, led to an excellent 5 metre scrum by Eastwood.
Both teams from here, showed great knowledge of the Laws of Rugby when Hitman picked up the ball from the base of the scrum to score – only to find 15 referees suddenly appear from nowhere and dispute the call. Unbelievable as it may seem – We witnessed a rare treat when Hoges to his credit, actually changed the call of Try back to scrum reset.
From the new scrum reset, with Morg’s and Connor directing the play, the stirring run from the Captain saw Morgs cross the line. Great forward play from Brad Kellaher, Hitman, Dome, Marty and Hearps then lead to another great try by Connor.
The Charcoals resurgence continued with a superb stolen ball and excellent backline move with all the boys involved which led to the try of the day by Johnny Fienieg (also the best face plants of the day.).
With the Rats on the backfoot, the charcoals surged on with inspirational under pressure play by twinkle toes Rabbs, Truckie, Mustard, Thunder and Pom shutting down the Rats Backline, but a lost ball lead to a turn over and the Rats crossed again for another try.
The final stanza had started with the Charcoals feeling confident, so confident that we witnessed a rare treat when Dome, believing he was playing Back Pocket for Collingwood, kicked the ball and Dave Eastwood, unsuspecting the ball would ever come his way, took a superb mark on the half back line. Back to Rugby and offside was the ruling!!!
From here the Rats took the advantage and went wide to run in another try. From the kickoff the Charcoals mauled forward, then swung the ball wide only to see the ball spilled and the rats pounced and another easy try went the Rats way.
From the restart, the Charcoals contested at every breakdown, the Rats were being worn down, Dome had moved to the backs and displayed the speed which he is renowned for (The quick step). With the Charcoal pack hot on his trail, great hands were displayed – especially in the scrum and with strong team play finally led to a great try from our Irish lad Mustard.
From a clever kick off by Connor saw François burgled the ball away from a stunned Rat and again the Charcoals were charging forward by a rampaging Pom the Black, but a resulting penalty eased the pressure off the Rats. Hoges finally called an end to proceedings in his understated manner and the time had come for a cool ale.
High turnover ball and thin defense saw The Rats enjoy a successful day but again Rugby was the winner with both teams playing some enterprising and entertaining rugby, The Rats served up a stunning Rats Strew along with a cold ale after a glorious day on a superb Pittwater Park.
What more could a bloke ask for?……… Don’t ask.
Mustard x 2
Eastwood Charcoals Captains Report Season 2009
In this season we the Eastwood Charcoals have played 19 fixtures and 26 games within our seasons playing calendar.
Our start of season tour to Port Macquarie is now a firm fixture within our yearly program, and is enjoyed by one and all who have attended over the last few seasons – I recommend to all players.... get a pass from the missus, or take her with you !!! as we have a better time each year.... and Crispy our contact within the Vintage Ports goes out of his way to arrange some great entertainment & gives the Charcoals the “Royal Platinum Service”.
Getting back to our normal fixtures the season again was kicked off with the normal Eastwood RUFC Presidents 1st XV game on St Patricks night.... again what can I say about this season opener that has not been said before.... except that you would not miss it for quid’s.... and of course the festivities that follow.....(Morg’s please do not show any more photos of Dome)......he needs to keep his pants on!!!! The level of rugby is a show case to all who watch on the stands & outside bar.... no one takes a backward step.... its 100% rugby.... not for the faint hearted player... but only the coerce...harden one’s!!! Who can give & take a hard tackle.... (go you boy’s)... I am looking forward to next season’s already.....don’t know if my body is though!!!
That point links very well into my next segment....... (bit of a major problem this season)....most probably the worst on record for player injuries.... we have had over the main middle period of this season well over seven major injuries that has seen some of our more regular players on the bench.... but not for just one or two weeks but for most if not all of the season. Injured players, please make sure you do the right thing over the summer and get yourselves 100% well & fully recovered.... as we have missed you all out on the field.... Max, Starry, Fonti, Big Pete, Greedy, Grizz, Alan, etc, etc.....those are just a few of the main tragics!!!
Well........ this year I am keeping my report to a minimum....... as over the season, I have said a lot, on some occasions most probably too much!! I hope I have served you as well as you would have expected, of your Captain on & off the field of play...... The time I have given over the last few seasons as Captain has been very rewarding, as for when I see most players getting stuck in and always turning up, (regulars... I mean) that has been reward enough, even when we only have a bare min of players available on a match day, we still seem to come away with very positive memories or a really good win....Engadine Sydney Cup, Rats, Newport Nasties, just to mention a few.... (hard games and down in numbers).........big thank you to those players who never let me or the Charcoals down....... the rest of you... well....take a good look in the mirror...on those Sundays & turn up in the future..... anyway enough from the POM....it now leaves me to offer my thanks for the support I have received to date from Tiny, Dome...and on most occasions.....Wayne...... I have to inform you that I have resigned this morning.... and will not be standing as Captain for next year.... but will provide a full and in detail handover to the new incumbent Captain...... Thanks to you all.....(for the last time).......
“ FOLLOW ME CHARCOALS” !!!!
Mike “POM” Begg
Captain Eastwood Charcoals 2009